The brain has a fuse. After years of threat and terror, the fuse blows, leaving a scar behind, a charred little plug of matter, once animated tissue. It can make a person mean. The bombs hang over our heads, almost within view. They cast their shadow over all our choices, smart bombs, in search of a policy. From the rooftops we make out, just beyond the harbor, smudges on the horizon, the ships that deliver the missiles that would deliver us. We live with our heads inside the cannon. The outlook is dark. Every year or so we hear the rumble of guns massing against us. When the international cameras arrive, the ambassador vaults the secretary-general and tramples the prime minister to be first to the podium to denounce us. Just before the elections (everyone else’s; we don’t believe in elections), surgical strikes cripple our ability to make spermicidal jelly. Meanwhile, the blockades turn back dangerous baby formula from our ports. There are more of us every year, and we’re sicker. And tireder. Yes, we see the guns. We hear the planes in the no-fly zone. We thumb our noses at the guns. They move closer, they move away, they blast holes in the sand. Meanwhile another generation blows its fuse. Our children don’t know what it is to live without the threat of imminent annihilation. On the other hand, they’re not tormented by nostalgia. There’s no going back for us. We would sooner give our wives what they really want than capitulate to the demands of the world. The world can take what we offer or kill us. We don’t divorce and the threat of the big strike means nothing to us any more. You can kill us, you may have to, but you’d better kill us all.
Copyright © 1999-2006 David Hodges
14 comments
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December 7, 2006 at 9:32 pm
briseis
Interesting post for the Seventh of December.
Sadly, it seems appropriate all too often.
–David
December 8, 2006 at 1:06 am
briseis
Sadly indeed.
December 8, 2006 at 8:52 pm
raysweat
My goodness, david…
this is terribly brilliant…
gonna have to blog this one.
Thank you, ray. That’s very kind. I’m touched.
–David
December 8, 2006 at 8:55 pm
Very Short Novels « you live your life as if it’s real
[…] holes in the sand […]
December 9, 2006 at 12:02 pm
litlove
I wonder if there is any other point in history at which this piece of flash fiction could be written? It seems so much of the moment to me, a moment that perpetually anticipates apocalypse, that perceives potential violence underlying every gesture, every breath, and that feels achingly vulnerable. And then all of that is incapsulated in a moment of brief but intense illumination in the form of flash fiction. It’s like a neat, contemporary cyanide pill.
It may not be unprecedented, but ours does feel like a time when words are most powerful, most necessary, most dangerous. We kill each other over language. Can language save us instead?
–David
December 10, 2006 at 2:12 pm
Annelisa
I’ve been meaning to come back and read this one for days – killin’ stuff!
Where we are in the world, we almost forget the threat of annihilation, and yet when I was younger the talk of bomb shelters (nuclear shelters) was strong. We even started digging a hole in the back garden! 🙂
But now, so many other things have precedence – work, finances and debt, school, what’s on tv… blogging even. When did we last live with an ongoing threat? I don’t think it’s because we’re shallow – we have simply forgotten. Yet in many countries in the world, where war continues, this must be a constant life experience. And as you illustrate, they too must continue to live, with it and despite it.
This was a very moving piece. I particularly liked the sentence “the ambassador vaults the secretary-general and tramples the prime minister to be first to the podium to denounce us” – the imagery is funny, especially considering the truth of it!
Thank you Annelisa. You’re right we lack the perspective to truly empathize, but rather than blame forgetfulness, I think we might as citizens more likely be feeling helpless and impotent to influence the dangerous choices our leaders make on our behalf.
–David
December 12, 2006 at 2:04 am
amethystlune
love the first line and the header. interesting piece. enjoyed how you … fused … it all together. 🙂
Thank you, amethystlune. Glad to see you’ve made it back from hell.
–David
December 13, 2006 at 12:03 am
yzed
Seems to capture the spirit of the times. Like Leonard Cohen: I have seen the future and it is murder. I like the way you use metaphor, like dream imagery.
Never thought of Leonard Cohen as an influence. Leonard Michaels uses words in ways I’d like to emulate. Thank you for the kind comments.
–David
December 13, 2006 at 11:41 am
Annelisa
Well, that’s very true… it might be a lot because there’s not very much we think we can do, but I do also think that we kind of allow so many little things of every day push out the bigger issues.
On the other hand, what are we protecting if not our freedom to play and enjoy ourselves?
–David
December 13, 2006 at 11:42 am
Annelisa
Oh, I meant to say… you’re tagged (come over to mine, and see my latest post!)
Tag-players can get involved by following Annelisa to http://wordsthatflow.blogspot.com/
–David
December 13, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Annelisa
Clever so-and-so!
January 24, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Shark99
This was very well written. I can’t believe you can stuff so much clarity wrapped in darkness surrounded by frightened emotion in one paragraph. Please keep up the good work.
I accept that challenge. Thank you, Shark, for your generosity.
–David
January 24, 2007 at 6:36 pm
High Priestess Kang
Standing ovation for you, sir! And not in that self-congratulatory, Congressional sense, either.
“Our children don’t know what it is to live without the threat of imminent annihilation.”
Our society hasn’t had a generation in ages which hasn’t lived in fear of imminent annihilation, however. Between the Cold War and the WoT, we live in a fear culture and that is the worst legacy we can leave for our children and grand-children.
And…for what gain, at this point? How is any of this improving the global community? It’s senseless, pathetic and irresponsible.
My humble thanks, Priestess. Maybe you and I should establish a new dominion.
–David
January 25, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Paul Burke
Why can’t we let go of our hate? Why can’t we wake up on each brand new day and let the past go? Why can’t we forgive someone the instant they do us harm and move forward? These larger grudges and struggles for power are ancient – so why are we so young a country involved? Sadly money and profit and power and greed lay waste. Those that are destroying themselves and each other – have they built anything, have they created? I don’t have the answers but an old quote I love from Edgar Cayce goes something like this – “if we want peace in our nations, and peace in our homes, first we must have peace in ourselves.”
Paul
That requires no comment from me.
–David