It’s said too often, so often it can’t be true, that the drowning man sees his life flash before his eyes, but what is never said is whether he understands it any better for having seen it. That would be evidence. I have a chance to live the rest of my life in a moment. Instead of counting backwards from a hundred as instructed, I surrender to the waves of anesthesia breaking over me and go down three times, and bob to the surface each time, and see the future flash before my eyes. I see my daughter grown and married, but more than that I see her daring and unabridged. Her hair never grays in my lifetime. I will meddle when she lets me, and she’ll let me. The unintended consequences will set fire to her bridges. She won’t complain. I will tell her once how sorry I am, on a bench by a flowering lilac, and she will say: Dad, please, I have other plans. My son will return from the war alive but transparent and battle to live thereafter. I’ll tell him too, while we work on the mower, how I wish I had kept him out of combat and he’ll say: I wanted to die a hero. My wife makes brief appearances only, for reasons I can’t explain. Maybe she belongs to my present. Maybe she doesn’t change. I never once go to the office. I do see my creeping debility in jerky time-lapse sequences of sinking cheeks and eyes that cook like eggs and cloud. I will have lived a cognizant life. I will have paid attention. I know now I’ll survive this procedure and make mistakes and eventually decide, when all is said and done, to let all things be said and done.
Copyright © May 09, 2007 David Hodges
11 comments
Comments feed for this article
May 9, 2007 at 9:33 pm
nova
Just wonderful. My heart was pounding, reading it.
Thank you, nova! Hope you were sitting.
–David
May 9, 2007 at 11:39 pm
briseis
Wow, David. Beautiful.
Thank you, Briseis.
–David
May 10, 2007 at 2:55 am
fox
Astounding. The description of the two children is just breathtaking, both with its imagery and depth. The father-daughter description nearly had me in tears. This part “I will have lived a cognizant life. I will have paid attention. I know now I’ll survive this procedure and make mistakes and eventually decide, when all is said and done, to let all things be said and done.” is among the most amazingly complete endings I’ve read to anything in a long while and echoes with a gentle wisdom so rarely heard.
Thank you! (Again)
Wow, fox. How can I ever thank you for that!
–David
May 10, 2007 at 11:16 am
wizzer
A glimpse into the future – how it is already decreed or how one will create it?
Another piece full of questions.
Beautifully worded, David
Thank you, Wizzer. Decreed or created, our narrator seems at peace with both.
–David
May 10, 2007 at 2:02 pm
litlove
The future perfect is a mystical tense because with one astounding leap it wraps the future up in certainty, so unlike the doubting conditional and the hypothetical subjunctive. So what’s perfect and beautiful about this novel, David, and the reason why we’ve all been so affected by reading it, is the way you’ve allowed the alchemical union of language, narrative and fantasy to give this man his life back, just as he was on the point of losing it. Never let it be said that words can’t work miracles.
Thank you, Litlove, for that beautiful analysis. I share your appreciation for the future perfect, but couldn’t have described it as well. Without it, I doubt we’d ever think of the future as certain.
–David
May 10, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Taks
Wow ! Thanks for yet another beautiful piece of writing. I am always amazed at how you convey so much (meaning) in so little (words) !
Thanks again, Taks!
–David
May 15, 2007 at 1:41 am
verbivore
‘eyes that cook like eggs and cloud’…this image of his future, seen through his present clear vision, is all the more poignant for that impending reversal. This is beautiful, David.
Thank you, verbivore, for pointing that out. It’s a favorite detail of mine, too.
–David
May 15, 2007 at 9:57 am
Migs
Hi David,
I came across your site by chance, and what a fortunate turn it was. This is by far the most creative content I’ve seen in a “blog”, and rest assured that I’ll keep visiting Very Short Novels for a very long time.
I don’t want to comment yet on any piece in particular, because I have to read – want to read – all of ’em. The brevity, the very idea of it, is perhaps what makes your fiction sublime. And your prose never fails to unfurl into something poignant, too.
More power to your work! I shall definitely keep reading.
Wow, Migs! Thanks so much! I wish I could snag all passersby and talk them into reading “all of ’em”! Stop by any time. There’s usually something new.
–David
Cheers,
Migs
May 17, 2007 at 12:02 am
amethystlune
wow. first sentence – soo true. quite zen too. 🙂
Thanks, amethystlune! I’ve never drowned, but I have had those moments of startling clarity.
–David
May 17, 2007 at 10:55 pm
sinderphytik
Wow. Just….wow. I never knew someone could make such an emotionally-gripping story in under 300 words.
I don’t remember which blog linked to yours, but I’m glad I subscribed to your RSS feed on a whim. I think, after reading a past few, you’ve now become one of my 2 favorite bloggers (the other being The Anonymous Waiter of waiterrant.net fame…but he gets an unfair advantage, what with me being a waiter right now too ;-] ).
Look forward to many more!
-Ravi
Thank you, Ravi. I’m so happy you found your way here!
–David
June 12, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Jason P.
Very enjoyable reads. This one was particularly standout-ish because it flashes like we tend to think it would through the people we love, but don’t always get it right with…
I’ll add you to my blogroll. 😉
Thanks, Jason and welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David