They were together in the bed in his room every weeknight for over a year, feeding on each other like prisoners downing their rations. Weekends were work nights, the only gigs he could get, and she was too young for the clubs, so she took the train north to her mother’s upstate and held her breath until Mondays when she could get back to him. One night at the mirror while getting undressed, she astonished herself by dancing for him to the rhythm of the jazz on the radio. He named the tune and identified the players and lay back on the narrow bed and watched her slither; she only knew that it sounded like sex, and the saxophone sang like a woman imitating a man. She hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and straightened her arms. A long solo on a standup bass took care of the rest. It made him unbearably uneasy. And then she sang. He took her to dinner after they made love; he laughed and talked and flirted with the waitress as if nothing had happened, but every time he looked at her he saw her audaciously naked, half-pretending to avert her eyes, imitating shame but covering nothing and it made him want to run back home and leave her with a bottle of Chianti, a plate of Alfredo and the bill to pay. “Where did you come from?” he asked her instead. “I’ve never seen anything like you!” Years later she saw him at a club in the Village, imitating bebop legends with the same old band. He pretended not to see her. A little girl with made-up eyes smoked cigarettes like a beginner and waited at a table by the edge of the stage until he was finished playing.
Copyright © June 2, 2007 David Hodges
15 comments
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June 2, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Pathik
“I’ve never seen anything like you!”
And, I too hadn’t seen a darn good short-story writer like you.
You rock, David!
That makes me very happy, Pathik!
–David
June 3, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Somerset Bob
David,
the VSN is just about the most original writing idea I’ve ever come across and you execute the concept brilliantly. I’m loving every one of your compositions. Each seems to conjure startling images in my mind right from the outset.
You put my own rambling attempts at short story writing to shame – and I’m not at all embarrassed to admit it, because here I feel I’m learning something from a master of the craft I love and respect. Long may you continue to entertain and bedazzle us, your lucky readers.
You’re linked to from my site with the greatest of pleasure.
Wow. Bob. You render me speechless.
–David
June 3, 2007 at 8:33 pm
ndpthepoetress
Wow, again what a spectacular choice of words by you David! In your few short captivating sentences I saw innocence of youth and a cold-hearted older man; and my heart began to weep.
Thank you, nom de plume! You do a pretty good job of capsulizing, yourself!
–David
June 4, 2007 at 1:50 am
litlove
David, this is sooooo smart, it just makes me want to thank you.
Deliriously good.
Well, I want to thank you too, Litlove!
–David
June 4, 2007 at 3:55 am
Wizzer
David – your ability to find such fantastic “settings” to stage your work astounds me. This one is excellent
Thanks, Wizzer. This one I borrowed from a book I haven’t read.
–David
June 4, 2007 at 9:41 am
Nihal
Hi David,
This is simply outstanding. In all honesty, “you’re a master”.
Thank you very much, Nihal!
–David
June 4, 2007 at 9:47 am
Suzanne Lieurance
Hi, David,
I love your work. I wish you would make it into several paragraphs though – so it would be easier to read on screen. The easier your work is to read online, the more people will read it, I think.
Also, thanks for visiting the NWFCC!
Suzanne Lieurance
National Writing for Children Center
http://www.writingforchildrencenter.com
Thank you, Suzanne. You’re not alone in wanting paragraphs. I will provide them whenever practical. Meanwhile, if you temporarily enlarge text in your browser, it makes for shorter line lengths. I very much appreciate your recommendation.
–David
June 4, 2007 at 9:55 am
Pathik
Nice one. Nice read.
Appreciate that, Pathik!
–David
June 4, 2007 at 10:03 am
Me
Nice read. You are awesome. Btw, you are not only a good writer but also a good editor. Else, how would you make your point effectively in only 299 words?
All the best
Thanks, Me! I appreciate your visit and comment.
–David
June 4, 2007 at 11:53 am
laura
This is an interesting concept! Have you thought of making an anthology of these?
On another note, I felt a little bogged down in the particular piece because it was all one paragraph.
Thank you, Laura. This blog is my anthology (102 novels so far), and you are welcome to it. Sorry about the lack of paragraph breaks on this one. I save them for special occasions.
–David
June 4, 2007 at 9:29 pm
Ravi
I guess I’m the only one that actually likes it as one whole paragraph…it seems to make it seem like despite being a “very short novel,” it is truly a singular narrative, encompassed in one of the smallest units of structure in the English language.
To break it up into paragraphs just for the sake of easier reading would devalue each piece as a novel, me thinketh.
Thanks for weighing in, Ravi! For extra credit, consider checking out “Knife in the Bed,” which does break into paragraphs, because it has to. And there are others.
–David
June 5, 2007 at 12:29 am
verbivore
As always, you get the emotion just right. Another beautiful novel.
Thank you, verbivore! I love it when you call them novels.
–David
June 5, 2007 at 6:38 pm
amethystlune
i enjoyed the journey in this one. in just a few words, you took me through her life… and my heart ached for the little girl’s growing pains….
Good to have you along for the journey, amethystlune!
–David
July 13, 2007 at 5:15 pm
briseis
This is amazing. Just yesterday, I re-read your “Politics of Beauty” and the sharp reversal between the two makes this piece all the more delightful!
I was right. You are a better reader than you were, and getting better all the time.
–David
July 13, 2007 at 5:30 pm
briseis
Only because I have such excellent material to be reading.
My Yahoo account misses you.