Rumors of my death are only slightly exaggerated, son. I’m so close to dying I taste ashes. There’s little time for me to atone for a lifetime of neglect—of you, I mean; I didn’t neglect much—but, no matter, this should do it. It’s more than a will; it’s your life from here forward. Without it, you’re nothing; with it, a significant portion of the world is yours and you’re still nothing, until you can document it. They call you illegitimate, son, but that’s irrelevant, as long as you’re the legitimate heir. You see the difference, I hope. I know you don’t know me, but what does that matter? My aliases all begin with D, so call me Dad. Am I the smuggler who flouts international sanctions, or the diplomat who flies peacekeepers for the UN? Just answer me one question. When life hands you a cargo-load of Kalashnikovs, do you hide them, or find someone who can produce what looks like a valid end-user certificate? Once you figure that out, my legacy will be worth something to you. Conflict is opportunity, son, for those with the right paperwork. Be willing to move, and recognize that reality is fluid, but standing still and re-credentialing is best when you can manage it. You’ll never understand my love for you, son, until you have to expatriate and leave your family behind. Quick: how many countries are there in the world? Find out. You never know when you’ll need a new flag of convenience. You are who your passports say you are, son. It’s the same for the diamonds, the tanks, the missiles that take out the tanks. Your mother never understood; she was dazzled by the sparkle. Oh, and get a haircut. That one makes you look like you’ll overpay.
Copyright © July 20, 2007 David Hodges
8 comments
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July 20, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Shams
“Conflict is opportunity” – very nice statement, David. I like it. This sounds like the talk of a businessman who is very realistic!!
Well, thank you, Shams, and welcome to Very Short Novels. I appreciate your visit and your comment.
–David
July 20, 2007 at 9:19 pm
briseis
Wonderful wonderful wonderful!!
I’m over the moon about your choice of title.
Thanks, Briseis! The title was a last-minute inspiration. You must know the Shaw play!
–David
July 21, 2007 at 11:56 am
André
Hello David. First phrase, “Rumors of my death are only slightly exaggerated, son.” Reminds me of Mark Twain, one of my favorite writers… Well, good novel. Keep on doing it… I Know you will… Embrace
Yes, I think the narrator knew he was quoting Twain. Thanks, Andre.
–David
July 23, 2007 at 6:01 am
wizzer
So much in so little – the unknown father, the dubious career (fully self-justified of course!!), the understanding of true love, the attraction of materialism and the simple fatherly advice of “get a hair cut”. Each of those areas offer volumes to ponder. Magnificent piece, David.
Wow, thanks, wizzer! It was all an excuse to write about paperwork.
–David
July 24, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Travel Betty
The end line is the best! I love it.
Thanks, Travel Betty! It must be universal for parents to tell their kids when it’s time for a haircut.
–David
July 24, 2007 at 7:34 pm
grantman
you said it all when you said…”When life hands you a cargo-load of Kalashnikovs, do you hide them, or find someone who can produce what looks like a valid end-user certificate?”… I got the feeling up to this point in his life the son would hide them….but maybe not so after this conversation…..
Thanks, grantman! Hard to know what he’ll do after this conversation, but my money’s on the money.
–David
July 26, 2007 at 2:48 am
litlove
In the Princess of Cleves, the mother’s death bed injunction to her daughter is ‘to love her husband and be loved by him’ as no other happiness is possible, despite the fact that the mother’s just married her off to a man she doesn’t love. This strikes me as being the macho version of this, with an equally paradoxical relationship not to love, but to the law, to risk and to violence. I’m also intrigued by the silent space you leave for the manboy who has to receive this legacy; it makes the parent’s dreams and desires seem very loud indeed.
That’s remarkable, Litlove. What a perfect parallel! That silent space, of course, is for all of us to occupy, but you knew that.
–David
July 30, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Ritwik Banerjee
I clicked on this article because of its name. A twist on Bernard Shaw’s Arms and the man. This post is quite amazing. I could not have found a better example of wit in so short a story.
Thank you, Ritwik and Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David