Until my hitchhiker showed me her gun, I’d been speculating whether crazy and neglect could render a woman nearly unrecognizable since I’d last seen her. She’d chosen a shockingly dangerous place to flag down cars, appeared from nowhere on the wrong side of a blind curve used to accelerate onto the freeway, and strutted suicidally against the traffic instead of with it, waving a thumb gesture more like a sweeping “up-yours” than a diplomatic request for a lift. I’d pulled onto the left shoulder to pick her up and when she reached at first for the driver’s door but found it locked, she’d glared at me familiarly through the windshield as she crossed to the other side, then flung the passenger’s door wide into the rush of traffic. Now, suddenly armed, she posed a different problem. The gun means what? I asked her. It means I own this car, she said. You shouldn’t let me drive it, then, I told her and stomped on the gas. I’m not safe. I’d meant to stare down the pistol while describing the hazards of losing control at a ridiculous speed, but she shot me clean through the ear and told me to take the next exit. You don’t listen, she said. And you don’t learn, I told her. When you shoot too early, the driver figures he has nothing to lose. I caromed off a panel truck and pinballed across three lanes toward the exit, thinking. It’s the threat, not the violence, that works for you, I continued, but she wasn’t listening. She was gauging our speed and direction and drawing a crazy conclusion, and I was reflecting how often the conclusion is contained in the premises and wondering, if we rolled her car, who would end up on top this time.
Copyright © October 19, 2007 David Hodges
9 comments
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October 19, 2007 at 4:58 pm
arelente2
wow, that was amazing.
Even though it was very short you displayed a spectrum of emotions considered in a suspense story.
Mahvellous
Thanks so much, arelente2, and welcome to Very Short Novels. Stop by often!
–David
October 20, 2007 at 5:33 pm
briseis
Intriguing!
Thank you, Briseis. Is it possible that’s a euphemism for “unresolved”?
–David
October 21, 2007 at 9:40 pm
pmousse
Holy expletive! Was this intended to be as sexy as I found it?
Blank yeah. For the gunplay-as-foreplay set, I think it would have to be! Thanks, pmousse.
–David
October 22, 2007 at 9:28 am
Manic
I love the fact the original owner just steals the stolen car. Very awesome!
(Makes for economical storytelling.) Thanks, Manic!
–David
October 22, 2007 at 12:13 pm
केशव
Notwithstanding writer’s vivid imagination for the sake of writing, I see some living truth of day-to-day life. 🙂
Well written, David!
Thank you, केशव!
–David
October 22, 2007 at 1:59 pm
grantman
foreplay, gunplay, cars out of control, lives barreling down the freeway, chances taken, opportunities taken and lost… a-ha yes David.. You do daydream at the red lights like the rest of us ..as we quietly and patiently await our turn to move on to the next stop…in the Twilight Zone..
grantman
Nice, grantman. You’re right. It’s a stalled traffic daydream, isn’t it?
–David
October 23, 2007 at 8:49 am
Abby F
Congrats, you leave me unsettled, again!
Thank you, Abby! Have you figured out how to subscribe to a feed yet?
–David
October 25, 2007 at 7:23 am
Litlove
Mmm, he might have done better if he’d taken a less personal line of argument with her, but on the other hand, maybe the freedom of speech is the only freedom he has left to exercise – that and dangerous driving of course. Neither looks like an argument he’s going to win! Wonderfully inventive, as ever.
So good to see you back, Litlove! I hope this is a sign you’re on the mend. As for the driver and his choices, you have to admire his commitment to a line of reasoning.
–David
November 3, 2007 at 6:00 pm
paisley
oh this one was wonderful … talking reason to a crazy woman with a gun.. certainly you are not a married man!!!!!!
Perhaps I’m a married man who does not listen or does not learn! Thanks, Paisley.
–David