We were twelve and stupid, American kids living in America, lying on our backs at recess. You like that? We lay on our backs side by side in the sun, in the grass, full of youth, looking for shapes in the clouds. There. I saw elephants; you saw dengue fever. Sounds unlikely, I know, but you made a good case for it. You made me see dengue fever in the clouds. I said I saw conspiracy but I couldn’t convince you. You were busy finding shapes in the blue. That scared me. Nobody even looks at the blue. Do you remember this? Or was this some other girl I made love to at recess? Feel the grass, it’ll come back. Here. Let me give you your pill. Careful, swallow. Napkin. I hadn’t touched you. Recess was nearly over and I hadn’t found the nerve. As if I knew the bell was about to ring, I reached out to start myself up and found my hand full on your thigh and remembering it now I’m back there still half-risen, your thigh in my hand like a trout from the creek, school bell clangalangalanging in my ears and knowing I’d never keep up with a girl who sees shapes in the blue. When I’m falling, I hold it like a handrail. I wish you could tell me your version. They’re here for your bath; we’ll finish this later. I’ve never left that scene is what I’m trying to tell you, sweetheart. You never stopped being the girl I hadn’t touched. I know I don’t say anything right the first time but something might take shape between the words if I say enough words. No, go. I’ll just keep talking. You lie in your bath and listen and look at the sky.
Copyright © February 05. 2008 David Hodges
6 comments
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February 5, 2008 at 4:03 am
Wizzer
This is really touching. I started reading expecting something about a jury (12 good men & true) and was taken aback by the real message. Love the “shapes in blue” – how true this is – we all see things differently (as your VSN often remind me!!). How sad to be unable to communicate – whatever the reason – and how sad to live with regrets
If anybody works hard to find shapes in the blue it’s you, wizzer. Thanks!
–David
February 5, 2008 at 8:58 am
grantman
sounds like a great valentine card to me… for sure the things that keep us from telling the ones we love that we love them are often more than just physical… nice job
grantman
Thanks, grantman. Here we do nothing but tell.
–David
February 5, 2008 at 10:51 am
verbivore
“When I’m falling, I hold it like a handrail.” Such a wonderful line.
There is something ominous about the “structure” – whether institutional or something else – surrounding these two at the moment you’ve let us see. And the fact that her voice in the front story is now muted in comparison with the narrator’s memory. That tension is just incredible.
Thank you, verbivore. That’s a lovely compliment. I feel that tension too.
–David
February 5, 2008 at 1:34 pm
litlove
I think this is so very moving and just perfectly constructed. I agree wholeheartedly with verbivore. The aching difference between the past and the present is astounding, and I also love the comparison between cloud structures and language.
Thank you, Litlove. No matter where I look I see words.
–David
February 6, 2008 at 2:15 am
briseis
Very interesting! A fond remembrance, it seems, and yet it’s touched with something of defensiveness or patronization. I love the idea of finding shapes in the blue, almost as much as I love your earlier idea of photographing the wind. Your estimation of the enigmatic female is always touching.
Lovely piece!
Exactly right, Briseis. To describe the female is to photograph the wind. Thank you.
–David
February 6, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Emily
I am so pleased you left me a link to your site. This is completely powerful. Someone who sees the blue — that description tells a tremendous amount.
My pleasure entirely, Emily. I urge readers here to hasten back to wheelsonthebus to read the Pancake series. Thank you and welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David