I picked up the phone and Mom was on the line. Mom! Dear Mom! On the phone! Well! What do you know! I heard the fake smile in her voice. She hadn’t dialed and I hadn’t dialed. Our phones had both rung and we had both answered: the network was trying something new. We had to talk then. What could we do—pretend we were wrong numbers? She said she was surprised to hear from me; I told her she had broken up my marriage and cost me my kids; she countered by telling me to get over it, sweetheart. I tried to imagine how that would feel. I tried to imagine how it would feel to be a woman who would give such advice. By way of thanks for her counsel, I attempted something new, crafting my final complaint around a half-submerged declaration of devotion in the “if I didn’t love you” style and hung up feeling we had made a start. I closed my eyes and breathed. How to quantify this thing that can’t be quantified went my thinking, when really, for happy innocent sons who love their mothers, a ton seems a reasonable unit of measure. I love you a ton, Mom, they say, the morons. I would never have placed the call, but the network had done us a favor this time. I picked up the phone to dial again and found it already in use and myself in a sudden twitch. I was listening to the voice of a person to whom I had owed an inconvenient sum for an overlong time. You don’t need the details. They’re not germane. I had said Hello, and he had spoken my name. I wondered if I could ask him to get over it.
Copyright © May 22, 2008 David Hodges
6 comments
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May 22, 2008 at 8:32 am
Wizzer at Guru fodder
I think I’d find a new phone company!!
How do people who should be so close cause each other so much distress and pain? What a complicated creature – the human being!
Maybe human beings are simple and I delight in giving them trouble. Thanks, wizzer. Let me know if you find a phone company that makes your calls go better.
–David
May 22, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Theresa111
This was a very good story line. Interesting and refreshingly new. 🙂
Thank you, Sleeping Kitten, Dancing Dog! And welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
May 22, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Litlove
There’s a certain form of davidbdale fantastic that is a little fiendish in the quirky situations it creates. But what amuses me is the way your protagonists always respond with such aplomb, as if they had never expected things to be otherwise. It means the reader can get to the end and only then realise the extent to which events are surprising. But often the trouble they cause is ambiguous, an intertwining of threats and opportunities that is quite authentically lifelike. It’s a lovely way of making the impossible not only seem possible, but like it really ought to happen one day.
That’s such a beautiful comment, Litlove. Lifelike is exactly what I delight in going for, not life but an alternative, informed by human behavior. Thank you so much.
–David
May 23, 2008 at 7:12 am
Lucylastic
Hi David,
I have only commented once before – many months ago – but I am an avid reader! “It’s for you” really touched something in me – what a fabulous story line – so many possibilities and very perturbing to think that the phone company might randomly connect us to people who we’ve been actively trying to avoid!! I really enjoyed it – one of your best stories I think, (and there are lots and lots that I really like). Lucy
Thank you, Lucy. It is a frightening idea. Thank you for deciding to comment again. The last time was for “Complaints!”
–David
June 10, 2008 at 10:58 pm
fathima
that was excellent, somewhat eerie. i liked the dark humour.
Thank you, Fathima. I very much appreciate your comment. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
June 21, 2008 at 5:40 am
Ester
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Ester!!
WordPress tossed you into the spam filter, Ester, but if you are indeed a real person, thank you for your comment, and welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David