She was never my girl until you took her and now that I will never get her back, I have reclaimed her. She’s certainly no part of you. For coaxing her off the bus in her plaid skirt and knee socks and taking her shopping for makeup, I forgive you because I was not able to give her everything she needed. For confining her in the motel rooms, I forgive you because I have no choice. If black humor is all I get, then I will laugh in my hell about how she got to travel. We never found the time. I understand you worked as a team during my daughter’s ordeal. One of you was the kind one, then, whose voice I hear like syrup sizzling on the tapes; to you I’m grateful; the two of you I forgive. For closing her mouth, I forgive you. She had more questions, I know, than I had answers, and more than once I raised my hand rather than try. She stepped off that bus and never came home and I forgive you. You think I’m naïve but you don’t know me. I have a complicated understanding of my feelings, one that doesn’t change if someone thinks they’ve sighted her somewhere. I know she’s not alive and that you never meant to bother me. Not having factored into your thinking used to hurt but I’m over it now. The tapes are a consolation and an anguish. They show her in her discomfort to be hopeful to the end. Frames of it are all I have of her beyond a certain age. If you know where it is, and I’m not asking, I don’t want the body back. I know our bodies are but husks and nothing will make me mourn one.
Copyright © June 11, 2009 David Hodges
Forgiveness by davidbdale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at davidbdale.wordpress.com.
Very Short Novels 
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June 15, 2009 at 11:46 am
The Querulous Squirrel
Absolutely exquisitely heartbreaking, all the pent-up emotion just bursting at the flood-gates. Really amazing writing. Really a novel in 299 words. I feel speechless (despite what I said.)
Be careful, Querulous, you’ll encourage me.
Sincerely, thank you.
–David
June 17, 2009 at 9:29 am
grantman
” she stepped on that bus, and never came home again..” and then to add I forgive you.. Wow David this one calls on us to really turn the other cheek. As usual you have taken bits and pieces of a scene and put them altogether in a 299 that leaves the reader shaken and stirred!
Good to see you haven’t lost your touch in your absence!
grantman
Thank you, Grantman. I’ll never forget you reached out to me during my hiatus with kind concern. I appreciate it.
–David
June 29, 2009 at 2:55 am
petesmama
He’s back! And because of this amazing offering, I will forgive you too.
Happy to be back, petesmama. And, of course, I appreciate your generosity.
–David
August 3, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Amy Flanagan
Cutting to the core of humanity. This story is beautiful and harrowing all at once.
I don’t always manage the beautiful. Thank you, Amy.
–David