You’re right. Management is at fault, not your hard work. The board of directors should lose their jobs; hell, they should probably spend time in jail, but we both know that won’t happen. Instead, you’re going to take the fall for their bad choices. Hold that thought. I’m still talking. You say you know some details of the public funds appropriation process that would embarrass me if divulged, and I grant you the tidbits you’ve teased me with are impressive, as blackmail items go, and might do you some good if the board didn’t know them, but there’s your problem. Hey. I’m still talking. You were at that conference with me. You met with the lobbyists. Fast-forward to the day you go public. Was I there with you? Well, reality is flexible, more so for executives. You could disavow it all, claim you were framed, and you might win, but you don’t want to have to, sport. Justice deferred is too goddamned expensive. I tell you now I delivered them cash in a briefcase, if only to impress on you how little I care what you know. The briefcase that makes it into evidence will have your monogram. Oh. And worse. I have immunity. I’ve been a justice department investigator since the last influence peddling scandal. See this? It’s sending our conversation to a collection unit on the fifth floor. Tiny, isn’t it? American product! Clear as crystal. Again, I tell you because you matter so little. So, listen. Read over the package. Talk about your options with your wife Pam, your two boys, the dogs. I think in a day or two you’ll find the terms downright generous. Then, if you still want to talk about the other option, get back to me with something I can use.
This work by davidbdale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at davidbdale.wordpress.com.
4 comments
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March 5, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Cathy Olliffe
Oh! What a creepy, slick, awful, lowdown, rotten, razor-burned, over-cologned, Viagara-snorting, stinky-footed, lying, cheating scoundrel! OH! That is the most awful bad guy I’ve read in AGES. And I WORK with guys like this. OH!!!! You really know how to write, David. Did I mention OH?
Ouch. Stinky-footed really hurts, Cathy. You are too funny. Thanks so much. Can’t wait to see what you’re up to this week.
–David
March 6, 2010 at 12:51 pm
Jared
This story works very well with your 299 word, 1 paragraph rule. It conveys a sense of rushed hurriedness, of the slick-talking, corrupt business world.
I appreciate that, Jared. Thanks. Your implied criticism that the rules don’t always work for every story is also quite accurate. Most first-time visitors chastise me for the 1-paragraph rule (we could check whether you did!) and I always have to concede the point. Always good to see you here!
–David
March 9, 2010 at 1:25 pm
grantman
…and that is when Larry, realizing that his options were only two reached into his briefcase and pulled out the small handgun……Days later after the funeral, Pam and the boys would get a letter from corporate expressing condolences and explaining that the company was beneficiary of Larry’s life insurance policy. Have a nice day
grantman
You think so, grantman? Condolences?!
You are a funny guy, geo. Good one. Thanks!
–David
March 11, 2010 at 5:25 pm
litlove
I think I was marshalling my own defense by the end of that! You framed the reader as neatly as your narrator was about to frame his man, David. Just between you and me, I wouldn’t have buckled under his low-down tricks, so I can hope his invisible interlocutor might yet wriggle out of a tight spot. This was a very clever way to use oh so many more than your 299 words by having us think out the before and the after for ourselves.
Hello, Love (Lit), Litlove! You must be well recovered from your family illness to be picking fights with narrators like mine. He acts tough, but you’d find that chink in his syntax and pry him open to reveal the frightened bully boy you could scold into seeing things your way. But that’s a story for another day. Let’s go back to the Reading Room and see what you’ve got cooking!
–David