My dear wife, the gentlemen who detain me do not understand why you neglect to send what they ask for my release. Try to appreciate that when they saw us get out of your patron’s car at the embassy, they took us to be valuable. I think they will not bargain as long as I live, so do what you can. Ask your cousin, or someone at the school. Or sell the house if it’s enough. I think they’ll keep me body and soul, but if my price should drop, get proof of life. I’m not the only guest. I hear others pulled from their boxes—or so I judge from what happens to me—and educated as I am educated. I would pity them if my heart had room. Instead they infuriate me. I have to love myself to keep counting the days. I have learned to turn to the wall when I hear two knocks at my door and to wait for the hood and the links of the chain to drape heavy across my collarbones. You cannot imagine how I welcome the change. Outside the box tastes blood like pain but it is not the box. They won’t let me fix what I’ve written. Don’t look at me when you see me, please. And now my shameful question. I see a boy. I think of you when I can picture anything in my mind, of course, and the girls, of course, Francesca and Flor, their names are prayers to the bare lightbulb that spits my light of day. But the boy I never see clearly. I can’t trust him. Is he ours? Whatever you can do, my darling, please, before they take the rest of my history and I’m no longer your husband, whatever they ask.
This work by davidbdale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at davidbdale.wordpress.com.
Very Short Novels 
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March 12, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Jared
Another great example of a 299 word fiction, as always. You’ve really captured emotions here, like in the way the note slowly devolves from rationality into incoherence as he describes his situation. I really enjoyed the line “Outside the box tastes blood like pain but it is not the box,” and I did feel slightly like the next sentence was a bit unnecessary. And then to follow-up with his delusion that his wife will see him again adds to such a somber mood.
I’m a bit hazy on the whole idea of a boy – which I think is what you intended – but from what I gather his wife has moved on, possibly slept with someone else and had a boy from the union? Which makes me wonder if any of these notes are reaching anyone, or if it’s just pointless writing, allowed him by his captors who take delight in torturing him and never entertain the ideas of releasing him if a ransom is paid.
Good questions, Jared. Thank you. I’ll let others ruminate for awhile about the boy or son instead of making a declaration, but take your confusion as a signal that I haven’t been clear, which I always want to know. I appreciate your comments always.
–David
March 12, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Paula Ray
What torture for this man unsure if the boy is his – requesting to be denounced as husband. It is as if he wishes to be thrown away somehow, not worthy of the price. His history taken, his life, his past, his future not even considered a possibility. Good job.
Thank you, Paula. It is a desperate situation. I saw a man on a televised report recently who had been held captive for seven months in a small container until his ransom was paid. He must have had a very strong will to maintain his sanity. I don’t know if he forgot any of his children, but I thought it possible that a man kept too long in isolation might. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
March 12, 2010 at 9:33 pm
cascadelily
From hope to despair, rationality to irrationality, to a life in a box to no life at all. Perhaps it was she who put the kidnappers up to it? I too was confused about the boy, but felt that didn’t matter – it added to the incoherence of his ranting. Ouch!
Ouch indeed, Lorraine. What a wicked mind you have to suspect the wife of setting up her husband. There’s no prenuptial protection from that! Welcome back.
–David
March 13, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Randilin
Great story, the boy seemed to come out of the blue and I found that a little confusing. Otherwise great focus and wonderful story.
Thank you Cliff, for you visit and your comment. I hope to see you back again soon. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
March 16, 2010 at 9:33 pm
grantman
I’ll have to agree with the other commentors that the,”Boy,” threw me for a loop..other than maybe this fellow is getting a bit delusional..but who wouldn’t after being locked up..A very disturbing and current piece and I might add just enough words to make your point… and after all I’m sure that is what you set out to do… Good one…
grantman
You’re right, grantman, he’s not just another unreliable narrator but a narrator whose unreliability is explained by the narrative (perhaps not as clearly as I intended). Thanks!
–David
March 17, 2010 at 7:26 am
Amy Flanagan
This one broke my heart. Oh. And the boy slipping away. I can’t imagine anything more painful as a parent. And I can’t stop thinking, did the dear wife already forget her husband?
It must be on his mind too. Negotiations in these cases can take many months during which the tragic victim must feel utterly abandoned by his family, by his reason, by his grip on reality. Thank you, Amy.
–David
March 18, 2010 at 3:01 pm
Kim B
Wow, this is very powerful, David. I did go back and re-read after comments on “the boy,” but I took it to mean that he has a son he cannot picture, who may or may not be real. Dead-on rendering of what happens to someone who’s been imprisoned like this, or so I’ve heard. The story definitely puts you in that little box with him. Great little novel.
Nice to see you back, Kim. You’re becoming a regular commenter (my favorite kind!). Yes, there has been much talk of the boy, understandably, and your own reading is much like mine. I’ve decided they do have a son and that it’s the father’s memory of him that’s tenuous, but I have to respect other readings too. Thanks so much!
–David
March 21, 2010 at 12:16 pm
The Querulous Squirrel
This is a very vivid, jarring tale. I think of the boy as the youngest child and therefore the most tenuous in the memory of the protagonist. It’s hard to picture a baby that is constantly changing, that hasn’t been around for long, especially in a situation like his.
I like your excellent theory, querulous! Maybe the boy was so new they hadn’t even settled on a name when the husband was taken, not that one should know that from the reading, but it’s supportable. Thanks!
–David
May 27, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Nourhan Ibrahim
This is a good descriptive story.This story explains how any human that is in prison without knowing why he’s being imprisoned.This story happens to many people everyday and we hear about it even though they are innocent.You’ve mixed between reality and fantasy by interesting way. Is this correct?
Thank you, Nora. You’ve chosen a difficult story to challenge your new English skills. I’d say your impressions are mostly correct except that this character is being held for ransom, not as punishment. But you’re right; this happens to many people every day. Welcome back to Very Short Novels!
–David