Our shabby little houses look like conjoined twins inexpertly separated. Her family’s house got the worst of the porch, ours got the sagging gutters. What used to be rivers of green grass flowing between the houses and the street, and between the houses and the houses behind, our families divided with chain link fences and choked the life out of, two squares each. Our yard we filled with fractions of cars. Her parents, my parents, are the salt of the earth, in other words, dirt made palatable. That sounds cruel. I think hers would treat me better if we were to trade; she thinks mine would her. Because every window in our house faces a window in hers, when she’s in her bedroom and I’m in mine, I imagine we’re sharing a double. We’re careful not to catch each other catching a look at each other, but if my light’s on and hers is off, I have to try to act as if I don’t think she might be watching. I sit at my desk occasionally turning a page of my civics book and tap my pencil against my upper lip for a studious effect. I’ve never told her that I know she kicks her shoes off from across the room, making scuff marks at the back of her closet. I don’t know what she doesn’t tell me. When I’ve finished pretending to study, I turn off my radio, but I hear the same station from her window, and the staked-out dog from down the block, and the shrieks from the shock absorber factory that runs all night. I’m out on our steps; she’s out on her steps, so close I can see down her shirt, and I think to myself, if I loved her, this would be heaven.
This work by davidbdale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at davidbdale.wordpress.com.
35 comments
Comments feed for this article
May 2, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Singer
i like the details –
“I’ve never told her that I know she kicks her shoes off from across the room, making scuff marks at the back of her closet.”
nice imagery. . .
Why, thank you, Singer. Readers without the patience for 299 words would be well advised to follow your link back to “Singing in Secret” for evocative stories even shorter than mine! And a hearty Welcome to Very Short Novels to you!
–David
August 8, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Anonymous
who is the author anyway?
May 6, 2010 at 5:23 am
litlove
The last line is magnificent. It settles everything that precedes it into place – lovely!
Thank you so much, Litlove! Now that I am back in the loop, I’ll check in on you shortly.
–David
May 6, 2010 at 7:54 am
Robert Crane
David, as usual, I like this. I like it a lot. And also as usual, I don’t know why really. It’s not the conservation of words. No, I’m certain it isn’t. It is that one short snippet that pulls it all together, making it as large as life. Yeah, I think that’s it. And I’m with litlove on this one. It is that last sentence.
Thanks for the short, yet memorable ride!
Thank you, Robert, for that glimpse into the way your mind works. How many of you are in there, anyway? 🙂
–David
May 6, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Passing Through
I stumbled upon this website by chance, but wanted to say “Neighbors Forever” was a good (and short) read. Glad I found it. And the site.
Thank you too, Passing Through, and Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
May 9, 2010 at 10:54 am
nadia zandy
It’s very nice to read you. Glad I had you as a teacher.
What a delight to see you here, Nadia! I’m very glad you had me as a teacher too. Welcome to Very Short Novels. I hope we will use this site to keep in touch.
–David
December 16, 2012 at 11:33 am
Anonymous
it’me aicha ouakkas nadia zandy is my freind at morocco ;I want to call her but I have not her phone
May 11, 2010 at 4:43 am
shanellis
Loved this short, I’m going to make a concerted effort to re visit and read more when time is lenient! You’ve managed to encapsulate a whole world in two paragraphs. Good stuff 🙂
Very kind of you, Shan! Thank you, and welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
May 13, 2010 at 9:24 pm
grantman
… at first I thought I was reading something Boo Radley had written about Scout! But no, this one was much deeper than that. I like the idea of the windows and inhabitants sharing each others lives and history yet never really coming to a life together beyond the house. And truly the last line ties their past together in one way and forever will keep them apart in others.. Nice job..good to see you back..
Grantman
Thanks, Grantman! Good to see you too!
–David
May 19, 2010 at 5:38 am
Dave Hambidge
Hi boss, you may recall that I included your blog as one to learn from in an e-booklet “blogging for newbies” that I published about a year ago.
http://hambocentral.blogspot.com/2009/05/blogging-for-newbies.html
I am doing a 1 year followup on my proteges and am delighted to find that you are still hard at it! KUTGW
My followup post will be next week, hopefully
Thanks, Dave. That’s quite a collection you’ve, um, collected! Thank you for including me in excellent company!
–David
May 24, 2010 at 4:33 am
Han
it was a really nice one and the last two lines of the story brings the whole effect to the little awesome story. Lets us meet in heaven 🙂
Sure, Han. Not too soon though, OK?
–David
May 25, 2010 at 6:49 am
Nourhan Ibrahim
You are not only a good teacher but also an attractive writer.
I improve my self from your write.
Thank you, Nora, and welcome to Very Short Novels! (That’s a very nice “not only . . . but also”!)
–David
May 27, 2010 at 3:01 am
petesmama
That last line ties it all up beautifully. I immediately said out loud: But you DO love her, and this IS heaven. You write so well that I am talking out loud to characters in your short stories!
Thank you, petesmama. And why not! They’re forever talking to themselves!
–David
May 28, 2010 at 11:39 am
Henry's Trashcan
Yeah! I think about this kind of thing a lot. I never had any kind of innocent voyeuristic experience with an attractive neighbor, but I imagine it’s the best thing in the world. I think about that potential experience, and also how cool it would be to have different-colored eyes.
Yeah, that’s all I want right now.
Yes, well, that’s not all you think about. If readers returning to your site find the right story, they’ll see you also speculate on the complications of harvesting dead rat semen. Dare I welcome you to Very Short Novels, Henry? Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
June 5, 2010 at 2:44 pm
David H. Schleicher
Are you ever going to perhaps release all these shorts as a book?
This was yet another one of your great “killer last line” stories — melancholic, reminiscent, nostalgic…close to home.
Great stuff!
Bless you for asking, David. Of course, I would release these shorts as a book, the moment I have 299 of them. (At the rate I’ve been “releasing” them lately, that day races ahead of us ever faster!)
Thank you, as always!
–David
June 24, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Lee. Tempest
I liked the whole theme of opposites here. The way you ended it sounds like you might do a sequel. You paint over the mundane and make it into something magical! I wonder how you do it? But then again, great magicians never show the secrets to their ancient and often entertaining tricks!
So sorry I missed your comment earlier, Lee. Where was my brain? Thank you so much for your visit and comment. I have no plans for a sequel, but your lovely compliment makes me wish I had another chapter to share. Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
June 29, 2010 at 11:01 am
Hoda Zaki
Beautiful… The last sentence is the grand finale of an amazing craftsmanship of both, words and emotions. David, you have a rare talent with words.
I’ve come to visit you here, Hoda, because I don’t know where you are today. We miss you here at home.
–David
August 5, 2010 at 9:55 am
thomaschalfant
I can really relate to the kid when he’s pretending that he doesn’t think she’s watching. Unless I’m mistaken, it seems all boys do that sometimes, and it’s a nice contrast, this beautiful and innocent relationship budding in an environment that’s not so beautiful at all.
Thank you, Tom. Even now I’m pretending I don’t know you’re watching, but what you think does matter; otherwise, why would I post at all?
–David
August 16, 2010 at 7:29 pm
muddassir shah md
“If I loved her, this would be heaven” Very well written. I am slowly falling in love with your works. You write pretty well 🙂
Thanks, Md. I’m already infatuated with your comments.
–David
December 7, 2010 at 10:43 pm
Anthony Timpanelli
I enjoyed the bitter-sweet feel of this. It seems the narrator, even in youth, is wise enough to recognize the difference between affection and familiarity, which can be more difficult than it sounds.
Thanks, Anthony. I agree with you about the narrator. He’d love to be in love but knows the difference. There’s enough here to support other conclusions as well, though, and I love them too sometimes. I’m very happy to see you here.
–David
April 27, 2011 at 5:30 am
Anonymous
thank u for me this short novel this is helpful of mine
April 27, 2011 at 5:31 am
aditya singh
thank u for this book
April 27, 2011 at 5:32 am
aditya singh
thank u this story
April 27, 2011 at 6:43 am
aditya singh
this short novel make me happy tomake a project thanks for this. please write many same book for our i like this neighbour forever.
June 27, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Anonymous
this novel is very nice.it tells our felling.i like last to lines.
June 27, 2011 at 1:05 pm
Ruchika
this novel help me to make my English project
.
June 27, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Ruchika
this novel is very nice .it tells our felling.i like last 2 lines
September 14, 2011 at 3:17 am
Manoj Kumal
It is the most powerful and capable novels with a acknowledgement of feelings.
November 10, 2011 at 4:35 am
BOB
this novel is very good.i like it
March 23, 2012 at 11:41 pm
Heather
I love to read your novel. You had a great imagination i can’t describe it. I need a lot of time to learn from you.
March 24, 2012 at 10:00 am
Anonymous
a sweet ….nyc novel…. 🙂
March 24, 2012 at 10:00 am
Anonymous
:*
May 19, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Anonymous
althought this novels is shot, but i really like it because of its interesting characters
December 16, 2012 at 11:39 am
aicha
Iam a freind with nadia zandy .Iwill be happy if she see thi message and she writte me at my Email
December 16, 2012 at 11:56 am
aicha ouakkas
I am ouakkas aicha