Some of my stuff I want to keep after I’m dead, but Ariel can pick out three things from my toy-box, not three of the same things, like not three ponies, or not even two insects, but a pony and an insect and a piece of furniture would be good, and she can ride my bike when she’s big enough. Then if you could sell the rest of my stuff at the library sale so they can get some better books because the children’s section is so pathetic. You know what I like. I want some books left open on my dresser, or wherever, in case I can’t turn pages, so you can turn them for me whenever you think of it. Tell Ariel to turn them forward, not backwards, if she can reach them. Beasty Boy should get my room unless Mom and Dad have a baby, and he can use my pillow for his bed like he does anyway. If I have any medicine left, I would give it to that boy in the hospital with all the pudding or that girl who cries. Also, I want Colleen to play center forward, but Coach doesn’t think she’s good enough, but if it’s in my will he has to give her my position, I think. And he should quit and let Dad be coach if I can do that. My report card will be good; maybe I can give that to a girl who needs good grades and she doesn’t have parents who help her and they make sure she does her best. Mom and Dad should adopt her so she can live here and finish up my life because they’ll miss me too much if they don’t. And I could watch and see how I turn out.
This work by davidbdale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at davidbdale.wordpress.com.
27 comments
Comments feed for this article
July 16, 2010 at 12:18 am
davehambo
IMHO you have captured the cadence of child logic and speech perfectly.
Thank goodness that was my goal! Wow, thanks dave; that’s very high praise.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 6:55 am
That Neil Guy
That was great.
So was your latest. http://3.ly/355R/ Thanks, Neil.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 9:17 am
Nourhan Ibrahim
You wrote impressive sentences in this story for meaning, feeling, and
thinking, professor. I like your writing anyway.
I’m delighted to hear that, Nora. You’ve written some impressive sentences yourself!
–David
July 16, 2010 at 9:41 am
Ardee-ann
I could feel the girl as she was writing this will. I knew her deep inside. Excellent writing. Thank you for sharing this piece!
Ciao,
Ardee-ann
Thanks, Ardee-ann, and welcome to Very Short Novels. Happy to make your acquaintance.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 1:41 pm
chosenrebel
This girl’s parents are crushed with exaltation, filled with joy and grief at the wonder of their daughter’s soul, indelibly marked by grace and inheritors of a future punctuated at railing anger at the God who took their daughter. I love what you do David.
You are a special reader, chosenrebel. What I want to treasure from your reaction is the daughter’s grace. Thank you for finding it and pointing us toward it.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Cathy Olliffe
“Then if you could sell the rest of my stuff at the library sale so they can get some better books because the children’s section is so pathetic. You know what I like.”
You do have a child’s voice down pat, but I wonder why she’s writing the will.. hopefully it’s a child thing, an interest that has caught her attention, and not the thought that she really is dying. Because I’m not sure I could take that.
Then you must appreciate that I have given you a space for safer interpretations, Cathy. Thank you for wanting to spare her and for your visit and kind comment.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 1:57 pm
anhinga
I usually need to digest your stories before writing. There is always so much meaning in the nooks and crannies. In this one it’s all out there, but that’s a good thing. It comes from a child, and a beautiful one through and through. What a lovely, charitable character you have created.
You make me beam with pride, anhinga. I love her too.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 10:37 pm
J. M. Strother
Wow, that kind of rips the heart out. Well done.
~jon
Thank you, JM. Wonderful to see you here. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 11:26 pm
Blackbirdsong
Well done. Short, sweet and to the point. Perfect kid speck. Heart tugs throughout.
You are very kind, Blackbirdsong. Especially because you know why. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 16, 2010 at 11:43 pm
Shelli
I stumbled across this today and am so glad I did! What a beautiful, heart-rending story told in just the right voice. You hit all the right notes with this. Very nicely done.
Thank you, Shelli. I love the stumblers. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 17, 2010 at 12:33 am
Gracie
How beautiful this is, and how it makes my heart just ache. What a glorious child you’ve written here. A really gorgeous story.
Nice to meet you, by they way. 🙂
Nice to meet you, Gracie. I lost a particularly lovely Grace not long ago and will always have a special fondness for anyone named so. Welcome to Very Short Novels. And thank you. I am very fond of this little narrator.
–David
July 17, 2010 at 1:41 am
adampb
Came across here courtesy of JM Strother. Glad I did. The child’s cadence is wonderful, with that beautiful innocence layered over remarkable sadness.
Adam B
Thank you, Adam B. We are all deeply in the debt of Mr Strother, me now particularly. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 17, 2010 at 6:01 am
Sam
I stumbled over your story by pure chance, but boy, am I glad I did! Beautifully written, I felt as though I could see the little girl, tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she worked on her Will. This story will stay with me for quite a while I suspect. Bravo!
Oh, Sam, I know exactly what you mean and I see her just that way. Thank you, and thank serendipity for sending you my way. Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
July 17, 2010 at 4:55 pm
The Querulous Squirrel
Gave me the chills. The last sentence is perfect.
Thanks, Querulous. I might have to go back and read it again! 🙂
–David
July 17, 2010 at 11:09 pm
2mara
I love it! I actually wrote a will when I was young, giving this and that to my sister and friends.
This is very sweet.
~2
How wonderful, 2! I had intended to have my nieces try it for research and a dark lark, but I was afraid they might do something too cute to exclude and mess up my narrative. Can’t have life intruding on fiction. Thank you for your visit and comment and welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 18, 2010 at 6:49 pm
cocohala
Loved it. Captured the whole essence of the idea. I felt the screen talk. You have an amazing literary voice. I would love to read more 🙂
Help yourself, cocohala! There are 270 more on the site. Thank you for your visit and kind words. Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
July 20, 2010 at 11:35 am
Mark Kerstetter
I loved this – not one word wasted.
Thank you, Mark. I could say the same—and will!—of your comment. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 21, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Laurita
Excellent voice. This was oh so sad, and yet the childlike voice gives it a whimsical touch. Well done.
Thank you, Laurita. Only an adult can be truly maudlin, don’t you think? Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 21, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Anonymous
gooooooooooooooood
Thaaaaaaaanks,
–David
July 22, 2010 at 5:37 am
mariathermann
Thank you for giving me some ideas for my own last will and testament!
What a generous soul you describe in your story. I can see her at her writing desk, biting her lip, concentrating hard, trying not to forget anybody in her last wishes. A giant’s mind in a wee girl’s body.
Thank you for that delightful picture, Maria. I like visualizing her too. Don’t forget to bequeath your report cards to worthy students. So good to see you back at your own blog! I’m adding you back to my blogroll now that you’re posting again.
–David
July 25, 2010 at 8:24 pm
cranelegs
david, all i can say is, “wow man, this is good!”
why aren’t you launching witty one-liners to oprah’s probing questions at this point.
someone over there in winfrey land is asleep at the switch!
Wow, Bob! That’s a really good idea. I will send this to Oprah’s people right away and see if I can wake them up. (She lets them sleep?) Thanks so much.
–David
July 26, 2010 at 3:44 pm
tiiito
goood one !
thaaaaaannnnks!
–David
July 29, 2010 at 6:30 am
sewingwithaskein
Wow! This is amazing!!! Very well written! I have to tell my Husband (the writer) about your blog!
Na
You’re very kind, Na. Thanks for your visit and comment and Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
July 29, 2010 at 4:53 pm
denise
This is a wonderful piece, and unlike Cathy (who is hoping for the best) I see that this story doesn’t have a happy ending, but it is a unique take on the world of a child. I love the philosophies such as – Mom and Dad should adopt her so she can live here and finish up my life because they’ll miss me too much if they don’t.
Thanks for a beautiful story..:)
We can all hope she pulls through, Denise. So many don’t though. I find her practicality such a tonic against the threat of death, I just know I will visit her here when I need her. You can too. Thank you so much for your visit and kind comment, and Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
August 3, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Jim
You’ve done it again my friend. Glad I wandered your way today and found this little gem. Proof once again that the truly creative among us never lose the ability to quietly listen to the whispers of their own inner child.
If only they whispered, Jim! This one nagged me mercilessly. I’m glad you came by, too. Your visit reminds me how long it’s been since I posted something new. This boy with his story about a shadow brother will not shut up.
–David
August 5, 2010 at 10:00 am
thomaschalfant
Wow, a bit like structured Faulkner with a dash of Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones. Very haunting..
You must mean Faulkner and Alice Sebold never had anything in common until they met me. 🙂 I’m delighted to have had an influence on them both! Thanks, Tom.
–David
August 15, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Taru
I was wondering who the Beasty Boy was…I’m afraid he wont be sleeping in that pillow ever again if her sister isn’t using it.
You may prefer another interpretation, Taru, but for me Beasty Boy is the family cat, male or female (kids don’t always care about the gender when they name a pet). Thanks for wondering out loud and welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David