He’s not always easy to see. I can be talking to him in my room on a rainy afternoon with the radio playing and sharing a blueberry pie, and my dad will open the bedroom door and Deuce’ll be gone and it looks like I’m eating a pie by myself and talking to the radio. And just like that he’s melted into the melting pot and achieved the American dream. And good thing too because Dad would broom stick me with vigor if he knew Dusek was living here and alienizing our air. When I found him, Dusek was living at the port authority—where my dad worked—inside locker 43, which he had learned to lock from the inside, in the dark. I heard him snoring while I was eating my lunch. I kicked the door until I woke him and passed some crackers through the vent and coaxed him out when the coast was clear. He was about a half a boy. Together we might have weighed what my dad weighs. We’re bigger now. Home, I said. I drew one with spit on the locker door. Let’s go? I got his story a bit at a time, between meals. He’d hit his dad with a hammer in Checkovakia and come all this way to live with an aunt who was dead by the time he got here; at least, that’s how I understand it. He lives in my room now. We call each other Deuce because I’m a Junior, so I’m the second, so I’m a two. I don’t care if he understands that. The time will come, I know, when Dad will see that Deuce is here and that he eats and pays no rent. I only hope that for my sake Deuce sees him first.
This work by davidbdale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at davidbdale.wordpress.com.
25 comments
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August 5, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Cathy Olliffe
Is he real? Is he a figment of Junior’s imagination? Does it matter? No. This is a gritty, twisted insight into the hard knocked lives of two boys, raised in different places but bound by similarly violent fathers.
Nice work, David.
Wow, Cathy. Great reading! May I send all my stories to you in advance for a clarity check, please? Thank you so much for your visit and very perceptive comment. I hope everybody will follow you back to the Muskoka River to read your “Girls in Black Dresses.”
–David
August 5, 2010 at 8:27 pm
Maria Kelly
This story has impact. I love how you nailed the character of this little boy. Very nice characterization in the first person POV. 🙂
Thank you so much, Maria, and welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
January 20, 2012 at 9:06 pm
Anonymous
hey,David what isthe reason why you wrote this beautiful and wonderful novel?
June 12, 2013 at 9:22 pm
porqueno
damn good…
August 6, 2010 at 5:11 am
Walt
I wonder what the boy’s father is thinking when he finds his son talking to the radio and eating a pie?
Gritty and well told. I enjoyed reading it.
I’ve been wondering that too. If he eats enough of them by himself, he might outweigh Dad without a roommate. Thanks for your visit and comment, Walt, and welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
August 6, 2010 at 9:18 am
thomaschalfant
Drawing a home in spit on the locker, a blueberry pie with no mom in sight, and a kid who’s more afraid of his Dad than whatever Deuce is – vivid, creepy story, David!
We haven’t known each other long, Tom, but I’d like to offer you a lifetime pass to visit and comment any time you like, free of charge. Thanks again for your insights and reactions. (You used your portfolio address again; I have fixed it.)
–David
August 6, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Nourhan Ibrahim
This is first time, I understand your Short Novels without using the dictionary. You always encourage your students to read. Thank you professor incentive
Hello, Nora! It’s a good thing you didn’t have to look up “alienizing”; I think our narrator invented that one, and “Checkovakia” too! Congratulations on finding something to read. I wasn’t helpful providing you with titles. 😦
–David
August 6, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Nourhan Ibrahim
Sorry for this mistake. Thank you professor for the incentive story.
That’s even more charming than your first note, Nora.
–David
August 7, 2010 at 5:50 am
mazzz in Leeds
I like the thought of him being a shadow brother, ie not real. But then how does he eat? Perhaps he is real, but not quite human
“He was about half a boy” – that had quite a punch, whether viewed from a fantastical point of view or a realism one.
He’s a conundrum, all right! Thanks, Mazzz, for wondering out loud about the deuced Deuce. I have my own very clear ideas about him (and I’d be happy to share them with you), but I like most Cathy Olliffe’s “Does it matter?” Thank you as always for your visit and your comment.
–David
August 8, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Aidan Fritz
A pleasure to read; I like the otherworldliness of the boy he finds in the locker.
Thank you so much, Aidan. I like the mystery surrounding Dusek too. I’m not sure why my reply didn’t appear the first time I left it, but Welcome to Very Short Novels! Please come back.
I recommend my readers follow Aidan’s link back to “Aidan Writes” for accomplished flashes by a #flashfriday colleague; and to Aidan I recommend my own “Tango Lesson” as a nice counterpoint to your “Ash Dance.”
–David
August 9, 2010 at 7:19 am
Anonymous
not good weak and bad for the kids
Leave a name, please, Anonymous, so I can thank you properly and welcome you to Very Short Novels!
–David
August 10, 2010 at 1:59 am
petesmama
At first I wondered what exactly Dusek was. But I read it a second time and it did not creep me out so much. I think the description of him is unclear simply because he is living a half-life. I found the story rather heartwarming and hopeful after the third read. However, I do wonder if Dusek will take a hammer to this violent Dad too! Maybe that is what the narrator is secretly wishing for.
This is the dance I love best, petesmama. Thank you for talking me through the steps!
–David
August 12, 2010 at 10:30 pm
grantman
..aha..bang bang maxwell’s silver hammer smith..you’re dead.. Great piece here David. Abuse so often turns the damaged soul into itself where it tries to find refuge and peace,, but the driving desire is always revenge!
grantman
ps..wow I need to get caught up.. you’ve been busy!
Hey thanks, grantman! Our narrator here does seem to have been driven pretty deep! Thanks for your reflections.
–David
August 14, 2010 at 1:55 am
muddassir shah md
Very well written 🙂
I loved it.
keep writing 🙂
Thank you, muddassir, yes, I think I shall.
–David
August 15, 2010 at 7:59 am
charles
Great job, nice post.
Thank you, Mr Blank. I love the silence in your photographs.
–David
August 16, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Bdiddy
Absolutely excellent keep writing these please!!!!!!!!
Nobody’s been able to stop me yet, Bdiddy. (I now get comments from possibly related email addresses: thelastdragon and thelastdictator. Any relation?)
–David
August 17, 2010 at 10:40 am
The Querulous Squirrel
Ah, the age old theme of patricide with a modern twist “It wasn’t me. It was him. My evil double. My imaginary friend. The insanity plea of course.”
Yeah. Might have to hang him twice. 🙂 Thanks, QS!
–David
August 29, 2010 at 1:48 pm
papaya
Absolutely good and touching one it was. “It took me three reads to understand it” and each time my perception about Deuce was different.
Hope your imaginary but real sense of Deuce Sr. is never caught by your father.
Hey, thanks, papaya and welcome to Very Short Novels! I share your hope that Deuce is never caught by the father. If it ever happens, though, you can be sure I’ll tell you.
–David
September 13, 2010 at 1:46 am
writeshortlivelong
Chilling. The line “We’re bigger now,” especially. Is there a significance to the number 43?
I’ve created a flash fiction blog btw (used to be coffee through a straw). Thanks for the great stories and inspiration!
June 26, 2011 at 9:48 am
Paul
A great variety of emotions Showing up, subtle but strong.I absolutely love this piece.Waiting for the next one.
July 7, 2011 at 5:31 am
madhuri
illusion psychology, highly intriguing.Not being a drag gives an edge to it,as a matter of fact to all your writings.Kudos 🙂
March 1, 2013 at 9:04 pm
Talkalittledo - For Life Is Funny.
Hi, I just discovered you ‘very short novels’ by chance. I love it. The stories are unique and crisp. Going to read all of them over the week-end.
March 1, 2014 at 1:43 am
Anonymous
Who is the author and the publisher?
March 1, 2014 at 7:05 am
davidbdale
davidbdale is the author of all posts
April 17, 2015 at 1:26 am
Fabrizio Medina ochoa
Awsome story, had to read it two times to fully understand the meaning. I found your story heartwarming with a gloomy feel in the middle, Such emotions carved into a text are hard to achieve, great job.