He wasn’t always the man who swallows light bulbs. He did at one time have an act. Like many others, it amounted to filling in blanks: an adjective noun of noun and adjective noun, it verbed across the noun when the noun was adverb, but when it fell, it fell like a load of bricks. One night, when they just weren’t with him, he yielded to a terrible inspiration and began to become known to his audiences more for what he did when all else failed than for what he did when the act was going right. He later described it as wanting to be authentic, but that’s nonsense. Rather than risk being nothing, he became the man who swallows light bulbs. Fans who had once reveled in his inventiveness at illuminating the secrets of the human heart now demanded only that light bulbs be swallowed. What’s more, what’s worse, once he internalized it, he saw light bulbs everywhere. He rightly interpreted what was fog and what was frosted glass, but every situation took the shape of a bulb in his telling, and in his telling, scenes were either bright or black. It was an illusion, of course. Nobody can swallow light bulbs every night and keep working as hard as he did, do you think? I bought him a drink one night and got him talking about his career. At first he denied having one, but as he verbed his nouns a story adverbially took shape. Dim at first, the image gradually brightened until above our heads an idea formed, the same idea, its shape familiar to everyone who knew his work. I saw what I thought was a satisfied smile cross his lips. And then, before he put it down, he took a bite of his glass.
Copyright © July 09, 2007 David Hodges
14 comments
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July 10, 2007 at 3:13 am
Wizzer
Perhaps the brilliant need to stoop to the bizarre for the ordinary to understand something – all in the name of entertainment?
Perhaps the light bulb swallower is only doing what comes naturally? Thanks, Wizzer!
–David
July 10, 2007 at 3:46 am
Madeleine
Ah…the swallowing light bulb act. Much like my daily doldrums as a tired grammar whore and screenplay executioner for a quick buck.
Whore AND executioner? Hope you’re getting overtime! Thanks Madeliene.
–David
July 10, 2007 at 12:20 pm
grantman
Not sure where Madeline is coming from, but we all do jobs we don’t get credit for and that includes downing a few bulbs every now and then.
So true, grantman.
–David
July 11, 2007 at 1:53 am
verbivore
Creativity and necessity? Swallowing, becoming what we create – I like the way you play with these ideas. And I love the …as he verbed his nouns…
Thank you verbivore. Not surprising from someone who lives on words!
–David
July 11, 2007 at 7:40 am
Ross
Great story!
Thanks, Ross, and welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
July 11, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Jonathan Franzone
He verbed his nouns? What? Forgive me for not being a writer, but that seems a bit weird sounding to me. In the beginning the adjective, verb and noun combinations are a bit confusing too.
Other than that, it was pretty interesting and intriguing. You really paint the mood well. First time on the site… so I’m off to read some more of your mini-novels. 🙂
Thanks for giving me a second chance, Jonathan, and welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
July 11, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Teresa
Brilliant. Incandescent. Full spectrum.
I appreciate the illuminating comment, Teresa. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 11, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Edseverripit
Björk’s Heirloom, anyone?
Very interesting, Ed. I looked up the song to find out what you meant and found this:
I have a recurrent dream / Every time I lose my voice / I swallow little glowing lights / My mother and son baked for me.
During the night / They do a trapeze walk / Until they’re in the sky / Right above my bed / . . . / They make me feel better / They make me feel better.
–David
July 12, 2007 at 5:34 am
Bola Oluyemi
Hello,
You have an award waiting at http://jblogblogspots.blogspot.com
Rgrds,
Bola.
Thank you, Bola. That’s very kind. I’ve posted your entire article on my “Cross-Posted” page. Or readers can click-through to your own blog to see it. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 13, 2007 at 12:04 am
briseis
Bizarre! A little bit creepy!
Superb!
For sure creepy! Thank you, Briseis.
–David
July 14, 2007 at 11:37 am
charliemarks
I loved it.
Thanks, charlie. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
July 15, 2007 at 3:26 am
BillyWarhol
Awesome as always Dude!!
U’ve been Schmoozed!! 🙂
http://billiondollarbaloney.blogspot.com/2007/07/power-of-schmooze-award_15.html
Thanks, Billy. I’ll collect your post and put it on my “Cross-Posted” page.
–David
July 16, 2007 at 2:58 pm
litlove
He could probably use a bit of the power of schmooze himself, your light bulb eater. It’s such a clever use of metaphor here; I can’t call it an extended metaphor, so let’s call it an illuminated one, instead, one that’s had the light shone through it from every angle. Loved it when he took a chunk out of that glass at the end, though, and metaphor was replaced by metonymy.
Thank you, Litlove. I found that moment very satisfying, too. I really couldn’t publish until I came up with it. Plus it makes me laugh every time.
–David
July 25, 2007 at 11:34 am
Coal2k
Oh, I do like this one. The lyrical tone of the piece puts me in mind of Ray Bradbury.
That’s interesting, Coal2k. A lesson I learned from Ray Bradbury is always to give the readers something to eat, a crisp apple for instance. No matter how improbable the story, that apple makes us want to believe.
–David