Our country is a mess, my friends, and no president can do much about it. The economy is what you believe. You wanted change? Start believing. At most, and only if good citizens like you comply, a president sets a tone for the national conduct. If his example doesn’t persuade, he has no power to compel millions of citizens except by martial law. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I’m sorry, this should be an auspicious occasion. You’ve traveled long distances to stand in the cold; you’re not here to be overtly threatened, but listen: I can veto but not legislate, appoint judges but not fire them. The Congress will not allocate me a penny to spend as I wish. I can, however, declare war and unleash annihilation wherever I like. What kind of job is this! My chief of staff has tried to explain with his favorite sports metaphors. The President does not play, he says: he cheerleads, he grandstands, he coaches. Perhaps others before me have, or maybe the chief doesn’t understand politics, or me, as well as he understands football. I have an agenda, America. You’d better impeach me now if you wanted a coach: it will take years to unseat me; I have lawyers by the boatload. Meanwhile, expect to see me travel a bit. They’ve given me a plane. Wherever it touches down is American soil. My friends, all we have done as a country, for good or ill, has brought us to this frigid day on the nation’s lawn amid monuments to our past achievements, blah, blah, blah. There is no looking back, friends. We’ve been at odds with this planet long enough. You will follow me or not, but I will make our presence felt in the world as never before.
Copyright © February 7, 2009 David Hodges
Very Short Novels 
13 comments
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February 10, 2009 at 3:02 am
petesmama
I have a friend who lives on sports metaphors. I have learned not to grind my teeth.
Funny – I was just having a pointless discussion about what kind of president the Governator would make… now I can see him delivering this speech.
Very timely and thought-provoking. I think thoughts like these lurk under the surface for everyone, really. Excellent, as usual.
Thanks, petesmama. I had no idea the Governator was a closet warmonger. Thanks for the heads-up.
–David
February 10, 2009 at 12:29 pm
grantman
You had me sick to my stomach when I read..” declare war and unleash annihilation wherever I like.” who ever thought the leader of the free world would ever have that in his job description! I’m a political junky so this one was a true shot in the veins.. I liked it… great to see a new post….
grantman
Thanks, grantman. As you know, I like to reimagine ceremonial speech (eulogy, commencement address). I’ve read the Obama address several times now, with hope each time that he’ll manage to maintain in office a measure of the grace and resolve he displayed therein. But the dark side still intrigues me.
–David
February 10, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Terry Heath
You bring up some excellent points about power and the limitations we’ve imposed upon our country’s President. Really something to think about!
Thanks, Terry. Well, I had those fifty extra words to work with!
–David
February 12, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Gabriel Gadfly
“They’ve given me a plane. Wherever it touches down is American soil.”
There’s something very foreboding about those two sentences. Very nicely done, David.
Thanks, Gabriel. While I have nothing but hope for this new presidency, that doesn’t mean I’m going to start trusting politicians.
–David
February 15, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Wizzer
Chilling but very believable – almost more believable than your usual excellent fiction and totally “real” characters.
Hey, thanks, Wizzer. One thing’s for sure, I’m not trying to predict the future, just tease the imagination.
–David
February 20, 2009 at 1:23 pm
utopianfragments
save the world from the president of the ‘no.1’ nation. i do think that now there is too much hope in that dude, and if anything will go just a bit not as expected they will all feel completely lost. save the world.
poor is the guy wants this job. worst then a coach, this guy cannot even know his players for sure, only what is attack coach will tell him he will know…. or what newspaper he will choose to read with the morning coffee. god save the world…
If I understand anything of what you’ve said uf, that’s a pretty bleak (not exactly utopian) world view. But thanks for sharing!
–David
February 21, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Rosie
Very interesting. I came across your site through a friend. Seems I will need to come back. Your short story could be totally believable, especially in this day and age. I look forward to the next one. You tend to put a lot of thought into your story and make people sit and think about everything you’ve said. We need to digest this information and take it from there. Thought provoking for sure!
Please thank your friend for me, Rosie. I appreciate the referral. And thank you too, for commenting on your very first visit. I’m very grateful for all reader feedback. Welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
February 22, 2009 at 11:38 am
utopianfragments
yes, you understood well. and yes (unfortunately) i wish for utopian world but understand this is not real wish. maybe one day
That’s OK, uf. You’re among friends. Plenty of us don’t think utopia is around the corner.
–David
February 22, 2009 at 11:31 pm
The Querulous Squirrel
I am always looking for fellow bloggers writing short-short tales. I sprinkle mine between essays about art and writing. Yours are excellent and I look forward to exploring more. You are a unique find in the blogosphere, most especially in quality.
Wow. Thank you, squirrel. Compliments from good writers who work parallel veins are the best compliments. Welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
February 24, 2009 at 1:49 pm
The Querulous Squirrel
OK, and now for my comment on the post. This was the shocking underbelly of the truth of that day, all that was not said. The sports metaphors drive me crazy because I never know what they are talking about. You had exactly the right number of blahs, 299 words or not. However, I believe the term “friends” was borrowed from McCain, though if you had added his “my,” it would have brought you to 300.
Thanks for the help on the (word) budget. I favor neither bloated bureaucracies nor overlong stories, by a volume, by a word.
–David
February 24, 2009 at 3:43 pm
JD
Hi David, this is thought provoking, Our President has amazed me with his ability to get something done, try to work as a unit with a divided congress and he has maintained the dignity of the office. Hillary said ready from day one, Obama has been and that is a surprise to many. Your point of do not expect too much is keen but we need his and our success in order for this nation to become great again.
No argument there, JD! I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you back at Very Short Novels making comments. Long time, no see. Thanks.
–David
March 5, 2009 at 4:56 am
Teresa
Hello David – this one made my hair stand up. Nerves, excitability, hope, worry. The line “a president sets a tone for the national conduct” has been much on my mind lately, as I cast about looking for a trend toward civility from the frothing ferrets who had the country by the neck for so long.
Well, anyway…. beautifully done, and thank you once again.
I’d be nervous, excitable and worried too, teresa, in the presence of frothing ferrets. Good luck with that. I’m looking for a more civil approach to world politics myself, mostly with my fingers crossed, partly by avoiding contact with certain frothier than ever commentators and talk show hosts. Thank you as always.
–David
June 11, 2009 at 6:58 pm
cranelegs
dave,
as a fellow jerseyan, i love ya, but …
this feels too short.
you need at least another 127 words to give me a hint as to what you think.
this is a case of very short novels needing to be just short novels.
Thanks, Bob. If you mean what I think about this president, I think he’s a pragmatist and a politician who, as a man, has gracious and fair values. The values are a tie-breaker. For a man with a conscience, getting elected will be the easiest part of being president. (Saving a few words for clarification if needed.)
–David