They come to Miami, he told me, because flights are cheap and the locals mind their own business. Same here, I told them, plus the women are drop-dead knockouts! I raised my glass and reached it past him in his wife’s direction; we all clinked glasses and I ordered a round. Where I come from, that’s a contract. I followed them to their motel and parked without knowing my role but eager to start whatever she had in mind. Plate glass windows faced the parking lot. They sat me where the trash was piled and told me to watch their room. She staggered while he swiped his keycard and fell inside when he opened the door. I watched him place her on the bed. He came to the window and looked at me as he pulled the curtain closed. I took cover behind the trash and kept watch. As the curtain opened, I saw her bare feet widely parted and shoes on the bed, the strong lines of her shins, then just above the knees her panties stretched like a rope, tan thighs and midriff, blouse undone and pleated plaid skirt carefully disheveled at her waist, her head turned out and convincingly propped on the pillow. One hand rested on an open book, the other nestled with purpose between her legs. He joined me at my vantage and we waited. I looked from him to her to the family approaching the window. Mother and daughter passed by chatting but father held back and gaped at the scene without turning his head. I felt the husband breathing at my elbow. I watched the father fumble with his shoestrings and heard him send his family on. I saw the wife’s eye open and find me. She watched me watch it all.
Copyright © November 19, 2007 David Hodges
9 comments
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November 20, 2007 at 8:47 am
modoathii
cool. very cool. intriguing. Was directed to your site by a pal, and i LIKE it. i’m quite interested in writing myself, and your style inspires…hahaha, 299 no more..cool!
. . . and no less! Thank you for your comment, modoathii and welcome to Very Short Novels.
–David
November 20, 2007 at 4:12 pm
litlove
Darkly erotic and very stylish. Definitely one to push at the margins of the reader’s comfort zone, and all the better for that. I felt like I was pressed up against the windows of your blog, looking in, guiltily waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder! Nobody does it better than you, David.
Thank you, Litlove. Brave of you to even comment on this one. It unsettles me, too.
–David
November 20, 2007 at 6:01 pm
grantman
I have been back and forth to this one a couple of times…I get the feeling these are the kind of people you have to be looking for to meet is the only way I walk away comfortable….
grantman
Yeah, and if you do run into them by accident, keep running. Thanks, grantman.
–David
November 20, 2007 at 11:14 pm
cathy
first time here and i’m so gonna bookmark this blog. so provocative and much is said in the things left unsaid.
Welcome to Very Short Novels, cathy! Seems we have several new visitors this week thoughtful enough to leave comments. Thank you for your visit and your kind words.
–David
November 21, 2007 at 3:25 am
Wizzer
The reference to Miami introduced an element of reality for me as the characters moved into a twilight zone of fantasy (I don’t get out much 🙂 ) What really intrigues me is whether this is the outcome the narrator was hoping for – voyeur or participant? And as for the family man…
Good question about the narrator, Wizzer. He doesn’t give away much. Thanks for asking.
–David
November 21, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Manictastic
It’s so awesomely bizarre. You have a thing for that and I love it 🙂
Thanks, Manic. If you ever find yourself in such a situation, please drop me a line so I can make fiction of it.
–David
November 21, 2007 at 6:28 pm
pmousse
Erotic, unsettling… especially the meeting of eyes at the end.
Thanks, pmousse. It serves several purposes, that meeting.
–David
November 21, 2007 at 10:23 pm
paisley
excellent… i love the meekness in this breakout erotica!!!!!!
Thanks, paisley. This is about as graphic as I intend to get.
–David
November 23, 2007 at 3:27 pm
raysweat
mighty cool, david…
I’m gonna try to talk Pj into doing one of yours for the upcoming east/west issue…
if you’re up for it…
not sure she’s got the space… we’ll see…
thanks,
ray
Sure, I’m up for it, ray. Thanks. I love east/west.
–David