You’ll say I’m making metaphors, but this is how it happened. You could ask around. There are witnesses, disappointed people who repeat the tale to teach their children a lesson. I was a diver with a feeling for the calculus. As the body bends the board, so the board propels the body into its arc; you either feel it or you don’t, but nobody feels it the first time. Thousands of dives over hundreds of cold water mornings are only the beginning of the training. The head must be emptied over long wet weekends until nothing finds room inside the skull but inner ear mechanics and a flat plane of blue water rushing upward as it curves. I looked out from the top of the ladder and saw the horizon and heard the spectators and the judges below, my teammates, my family, my coach. The long board was another plane, as lonely as a pirate’s plank. I was above it all, about to take the four short steps and throw myself at numbers. I needed two nines and a ten to win. My teammates couldn’t help. I’d practiced putting them and everything out of my mind. I bent the board. It tossed me over water, and as I forward flipped I thought, “What is this? How is this a team?” and quit. Where the head leads, the diver’s body follows. I pulled my thighs into my chest and locked my hands around my ankles; I pressed my forehead to my knees; I hugged myself, chuckled and fell. I broke the water like a meteor and felt the plume rush past me as it geysered from the pool: a perfect cannonball. It’s quiet underwater where there are no teams and all you need to know is which way is up.
Copyright © June 3, 2007 David Hodges
12 comments
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June 5, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Rafael Reinehr
Hi David! Recently I have visited your page after registering at MyBlogLog. Besides a physician (endocrinologist) I’m also a writer (maybe it would be better to say I’m a writer in a body of a doctor!). As you, I spent lot of my time “inventing” new ways of writing. Recently, I “discovered” a new literary genre I called “poetic microtales”. This are very very short stories told in a “poetic” way.
Let me try to explain (my English is not very good, it will be hard!)
In brazilian portuguese, we use to accent words (á, é, ô, ã, etc). So, one of the examples I have os “poetic microtales” is:
“ladraõ”
The correct word would be “ladrão”, that means “robber”. As you see, the “o” robbered the “~” from the “a”. Hehehe! Something like that!
In english we could do this: “robb er”, when, maybe, we could say that the “r” at the end “robbered” the “e” from the word!
Was I clear enough?
The next step in my blog is to translate it entirely to english. Now I have an “Babel Fish” translator, but it is very, very poor. I’ll need to pay for professional help to have it done for me. Maybe then we can exchange ideas and impressions!
Also, I need to say your idea is very fine. Never saw no one building 299 words. I have plenty of very very short stories (less than 50 words) that I will share with you as soon as they are translated.
Wishing to mantain contact,
Rafael Reinehr
http://reinehr.org
Thank you, Rafael! That’s fascinating. Now that I have read some of your writing, I see that you are a very fine endocrinologist (just joking!). I have seen some examples of this sort of word play at http://www.simplicissimo.com.br but never to tell a story. I hope you will keep your word and share some “instant fictions” with me whenever you can!
–David
June 5, 2007 at 6:42 pm
amethystlune
i like this one. from all those that i read today, i FELT this one the most. i related to it the most is probably what i mean.
Thanks, amethystlune!
–David
June 5, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Marn
Hi David!
Nice site! I love to write too. I have been a columnist in a local weekend newspaper here. But still, I think I have to learn more. I hope you can share some tips? Thanks!!
Thank you, Marn. The best advice I’ve seen for writers comes from Kurt Vonnegut. http://www.peterstekel.com/PDF-HTML/Kurt%20Vonnegut%20advice%20to%20writers.htm
Hope you find it inspiring.
–David
June 5, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Nick Phillips
Hi David, interesting site, I love your short stories. Great site, I’ll definitely take the time to read all the stories you posted. I love reading but will never make it as a writer, so I’ll leave the writing to you guys and just do the reading … LOL. Have a nice day.
Thank you, Nick and welcome to Very Short Novels!
–David
June 6, 2007 at 3:38 am
ndpthepoetress
Perhaps a metaphor for life itself, should one follow the team or make their own waves?
Or just toss cannonballs? Thanks NDP!
–David
June 6, 2007 at 2:47 pm
litlove
I love the way you narrate this wild event from the perspective of its perpetrator. You manage to take the reader through something random and absurd from within the experience, and yet although we witness it, we still cannot penetrate the mystery of the act. And on a personal note, I rather like the moment when he chuckles and colours his actions with a cheeky subversiveness.
Thank you, Litlove. I like the moment when he chuckles, too. The very idea of quitting at the top of the arc makes me laugh every time.
–David
June 6, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Ashley
I like this story. I also like the whole idea of this site! I will have to plug you in one of my articles, if you do not mind. 🙂
Thanks, Ashley. I’d love to be mentioned at Savvy Writer (if you do not mind!).
–David
June 8, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Wizzer
A metaphor within a metaphor – very clever.
But this is how it happened! Thanks Wizzer. I count on you to catch these things.
–David
June 17, 2007 at 11:35 am
zakman
Hi David
Arc of a Diver
These words will give a blind man his sight back.
OK, zakman, that’s just crazy.
–David
June 19, 2007 at 1:59 pm
zakman
No, no, no…. it’s not crazy.
What I meant was…. if the words were read out, they’d be so real to anyone who can imagine without being there. Am I making sense…
I just went an extra mile to make my metaphor so strong. Maybe too strong?
I’m entirely in favor of strong metaphor, zakman. Thank you.
–David
June 22, 2007 at 12:44 am
Miriam Robbins Midkiff
As I read, I felt anxiety, wondering if this tale would end tragically. I was in the moment and reliving it as a memory in the same instant. The chuckle at the end brought relief!
There’s no relief without anxiety, Miriam. Glad to give you both. Thank you.
–David
October 10, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Anonymous
Mr. Hodges,
I really like what you have written! Being a diver myself, I can relate to what this man is going through. I like the message that you are trying to get across to readers; the aspect of being on a team and finding your individuality. Great work!
Rachel Anzano
Thanks, Rachel! It’s good to get positive feedback from an actual diver. It must be one of the loneliest team sports!
–David